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            How to use your body language to develop your 
              success and power ... Stuart Goldsmith shows you how in 'How to 
              Talk & Win'
             
              How to Talk & Win by Stuart 
                Goldsmith 
                 
             
             Most people would rather do a bungee jump into the 
              Grand Canyon - even if they suffered from vertigo - than stand up 
              and speak before an audience. The sight of expectant faces all waiting 
              to hear what the speaker has to say, literally renders many people 
              speechless with fear. Even a meeting with a bank manager, can be 
              daunting, especially when asking for finance for the winning business 
              venture. 
             And yet some people seem to ooze confidence from 
              every pore. No embarrassing silences, fidgeting, twirling a ring 
              restlessly round and round a finger, or any other outward signs 
              of unease or nerves in sight. Instead, they seem poised and relaxed, 
              even in the face of opposition to their views or requests. These 
              people seem able effortlessly to obtain financial support for their 
              ideas and get people to say 'yes' to buying their product. They 
              positively radiate wealth and abundance. So how do they do it? What's 
              their secret? 
             The Way to Look and Move 
             It takes just 10 seconds, for other people to weigh 
              you up. And the way you look and move makes up at least 80% of their 
              first impression of you. This is all before you utter one word, 
              so it's essential you look like a successful 'somebody'. It's only 
              possible to achieve this if you feel like a 'somebody'. 
             Body Language 
             Meeting strangers is difficult for most people. And 
              a business meeting with strangers, when you want to sell your idea 
              to them, is especially daunting. A simple fail-safe technique is 
              to pretend or imagine the person is an old friend that you're unexpectedly 
              re-uniting with. This simple process will soften all your features 
              and make you more amiable and approachable. Because your body language 
              will be expressing, 'I like you', to the other person, it will endear 
              you to them and they are much more likely to meet your requests. 
             Stand in front of a mirror and practice meeting a 
              stranger as if they were an old acquaintance. 
             The Power of the Winning Smile 
             A warm smile is a powerful achieving tool. When you 
              first meet someone, don't immediately flash a smile, they will feel 
              extra special if you pause for a moment to get an impression of 
              them. Then let a warm smile flood over your face and into your eyes. 
              The split second delay convinces a person that your smile is meant 
              only for them and that makes them feel special. 
             It's equally important to continually wear a pleasant 
              look on your face. Here's a fail-safe technique so you never fall 
              into the trap of grimacing, frowning or generally looking unfriendly. 
             Step 1 - Sit or stand in front of a mirror. Put your 
              lips together and don't move them. Look at your face in the mirror 
              concentrating on the eyes. They are lifeless. 
             Step 2 - Now lift up the corners of your mouth and 
              watch your eyes come alive. This gives you a natural casual look 
              which should be used at all times to give a pleasant look to your 
              face. 
             Four Talking Tips 
             Eye Contact 
             Looking into the eyes of the person you're having 
              a conversation with plants confidence that you're concentrating 
              on them and not elsewhere. It's very flattering when someone gives 
              you their undivided attention. So keep strong eye contact - it broadcasts 
              a message of understanding while making the recipient feel closer 
              to you. 
             After Hello 
             If you want to bring people around to being interested 
              in what you have to say or show them, first evaluate their mood 
              and voice tone. If they're really relaxed, immediately pitching 
              in about your idea or product, might be too aggressive and destroy 
              your chances of obtaining what it is you want from them. If they're 
              in a state of nervous tension from being far too busy for comfort, 
              understand and sympathise with them, if only for a minute, before 
              talking about your business needs. Maintaining eye contact you should 
              be able to register if your listener gets bored or excited during 
              conversations. Be sympathetic to the other person's needs. 
             Be Interesting 
             Monosyllable answers of yes and no don't usually 
              achieve desirable results. For example, let's take the question, 
              'where do you come from?' It's far more revealing and interesting 
              if instead of just answering, 'Crantock', the answer was, 'Crantock. 
              It's a small Cornish village, famous for smuggling during the 16th 
              century.' 
             This answer opens up possibilities for the other 
              person to comment on. It also reveals a lot about you. By demonstrating 
              a willingness to share deeper thoughts with someone else, it makes 
              them feel special and endears them to you. 
             Take an Interest 
             How people comment or answer you, reveals a lot about 
              themselves. Supposing you were trying to sell your idea for a film 
              and you made this comment, 'we fully intend to make a film of this 
              story,' and your film industry contact replied, 'the latest Bond 
              movie was amazing.' From that reply with just a little careful digging 
              you could find out exactly why they thought that particular Bond 
              movie was amazing. Did they like the director? Or was it a character? 
              Or maybe it was an actor or actress? Once you know the answer, there 
              may be a link that you could use for your project. For example, 
              if you discover that it was an actor they particularly liked, there 
              may be a part in your film perfect for that favoured actor. 
             If that was the case, you could suggest this actor 
              be approached to play the part. Immediately, the other person's 
              really interested and excited about your project, and if the meeting 
              had been to obtain finance for the film, you would have just increased 
              the chances of getting what you needed. 
             So, whether you've got an appointment with your bank 
              manager or other investors, or a meeting to sell your idea, you 
              know you can meet these people full of confidence, sure you'll stay 
              relaxed and poised, knowing you can talk to win. 
            Stuart Goldsmith 
             © Stuart Goldsmith 2003  
             
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             How 
              to use your body language to develop your success and power 
              ... Stuart Goldsmith shows you how in 'How to Talk & Win'  
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